I'd rather die

RIGHT now I'm feeling the effects of my own way of altering time to my perception to a considerable, right now it feels much like a hangover. Internally last night which through a range of interesting emotions fueled by powerful memories, and some of the emotions and recollections were so real I nearly succumbed to them a second time to my detriment. The point at that particular moment was to allow the emotions to come and go, and use it as a chance to furnace my soul so to speak, yet the problem didn't lie in my desire to do so, but in my reflex. I had to look at my interesting fate objectively and let it be, not railing against it like I did so valiantly in the past, but to merely learn from it and not let it consume me as it did once nearly did before. As I think on it, this whole process is one epic adventure likened in proportion to the Odyssey when considering it's overall goal. I'm not promised anything when I chose this path, in fact, I have a high a chance of failing utterly like many before, yet there's something inside that yearns to "get back home" at no cost, the effort alone is a worthy cause on behalf of just living a humane life in the name evolution. I'd rather die than live willfully ignorant.